My Human Pets

by “Simon”  The Cat

My real name isn’t “Simon,” of course.  Cats aren’t born with human names.  My mother named me “Murrrrrgh” when I was born.  I lived with my mom and my three brothers and sisters until I was about seven weeks old.  We lived on a farm and had lots of fun.

Most kittens are taught by their mothers to adopt humans as pets.  When we are old enough, we are encouraged to pick the humans we want to adopt and live with.  We act cute and cuddly so the humans will like us and take us home.  Humans make good pets because they have nice homes and they feed us, give us a clean place called a litter box to poop, and even give us toys to play with.  They also like to pet us and like it when we cuddle with them.

One day, three humans came to the farm where I lived.  I knew immediately that I wanted to go home with them.  There was a female human, a male human and someone who is either a male child or a midget.  I think he might be a midget because he is about half the size of the other humans.

The midget’s name is Zachary.  He calls me “Simon,” and takes care of me most of the
time.  He cleans my litter box and gives me food and water.  At night, I sleep on his bed.  It took me a long time to train the midget.  He was always willing to play with me and share his bed, but he was often too rough.  He forgets that he is much larger than I am and that he can easily hurt me if he is too rambunctious.  I have tried to be patient with him and he is slowly getting better.  I haven’t had to scratch him yet, to punish him for being too rough, but there is always a first time.

It is important for humans to feel useful and wanted, so I am careful to give them the attention they need.,  I rub myself against their legs, sleep on their laps, and purr to let them know that I am happy and content.

Having humans as pets means that I get to spend a lot of time alone.  The bigger humans are away most of the day, earning money to support me.  The midget, Zachary, goes to school to learn how to get a job to support me when he graduates. I sure wouldn’t want to be a human.  Their lives must be very difficult and stressful.  

When the humans are away, I have the run of the house and get to do whatever I want.  Sometimes, I lie on a window sill and bask in the sun.  Sometimes, I play with my toys.  Sometimes I just nap or clean myself with my tongue.  By the time I get bored, it is already afternoon.   Soon afterwards, I hear a car pull into the driveway. The adult female and the midget always arrive first.  The midget runs into the house and picks me up and cuddles me.  I pretend to be annoyed but I really do like the attention.

I guess I am pretty lucky.  My humans are very good to me and I think I made a very good choice in picking them to adopt.

I love my humans.  Even the midget, Zachary.

Simon.